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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Jealousy, Stop It!

On Jealousy, 
I would be a liar if I said I was never jealous. not the type where I am jealous of someone stealing a spouse or girl friend. The type where you see someone who seems to have it all. Money,Fame,Power. And you think Oh how I wish I was there. How nice it would be to never have to worry about money, or to be able to do what you want and when. Go where you choose any time you feel like it. But then I read about those who do have it all. And they wind up in the slammer with a dead wife like OJ Simpson, or they take their own life Like Robbin Williams. Perhaps they become drug addicts. Some lock themselves away in compounds which seem like wonderful places, but become a form of prison which they are afraid to leave, because of the press, or have such notoriety that everyone knows who they are. Constantly being asked for an autograph. Though it's a nice place it still becomes a prison. They start to feel like they cannot go anywhere anonymously and just be part of the crowd. It can be hard to accept ones lot in life. To be considered mediocre. Just another person in a sea of people. But I have learned that though I might not be famous or loved by millions lol that I can be happy. I can wake up and make choices which reflect my desires and goals. That each day though sometimes a bit dreary, I have the ability to still choose. Sometimes that choice is something silly, stay in bed half the day. Or spend 12 hours at a keyboard lol. Other times I am up before dawn out the door and off to see something i have never seen before. So I think to myself when I have these jealous feelings, your being a stupid old man Gary. Instead of being grateful for what you do have, your wallowing in a form of self pity which serves no purpose. You have been given gifts others do not have. Some are actually jealous of you for what you do have. Clarity of self perception. That would seem to be the ticket. Be grateful for what you do have, and happy with that. Shut out the very human but self destructive feelings of why don't I have what they do. The reality is that sometimes I am probably better off. That my faults are what they are. That who I am is ok and that my life though not grand is still something special. That God made me to fill a spot in the grand scheme of things which suits his purpose. That it is ok to be who and what i am. And then give thanks for that. Because I could be living in an alley somewhere, cold and freezing. Crying out at night Why Me?.
So i give thanks, today. it is ok to just be-Gary

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